Bits' Bedtime Story

When Nana and Bits came to visit for Christmas, they brought a book for Tristan. The book is Mike Mulligan and other stories and Bits has the same book at home. This evening Bits called and read Tristan a story over the phone. What a great idea! Tristan loved it, and while he and Neil were listening to the story there was a naughty little baby that refused to go to bed crawling under foot. Finn didn't want to miss all the fun. Tristan is looking forward to many more story nights with Bits.

Windy

The wind here in Colorado is SO loud tonight and is shaking the windows and door. Tristan is a light sleeper on a quiet night, but on a windy night he is lucky to get any sleep.
As I put him to bed, I laid down and was saying prayers with him. I prayed for an angel to come watch over him as he slept, and he put his finger on my nose and said, "mom, you're my angel." Such a sweet boy!

Two Movers And A Shaker

It's almost spring time and that must mean that all my young little chicks are finding new ways to move away from me... some quicker than others. Tristan is getting pretty good on his tricycle as long as there aren't any big turns to take.
Finn can crawl but gets so excited that he ends up doing a crawl/lunge/pulling thing. Either way, he gets just where he wants to and where he wants to be is right on top of everything he can't have. It's a good thing we drink mostly water in this house because numerous cup have been pulled over in the last week. Gone are the days of leaving my camera on the floor or setting a snack down. He is determined!
Then there is Ian. He is really close to crawling, too, but is a little more cautious about it all. Finn will crawl and bump things and pull up to standing and fall, but Ian just takes it a little slower and studies everything he is doing. The boy does love a good shake though.
I love to watch the twins play with the same toys. Finn devours them and throws them to the side. Ian will quietly play with one toy at a time and see everything about it. Hmmmm, a little personality shinning through? Things are about to get a bit tricky around here, but I think I'm looking forward to it.

Almost Three Is Almost Always Fun

Most days I still can't believe Tristan is almost three. With every stage he gets to be more fun and his sense of humor is right up my ally. There is at least once every day when he catches me off guard and I'm just glad I'm not drinking milk so it can't come out my nose. Let's hope this is not the peak of his comedy career.
His imagination is growing like crazy. Every day our chair is turned into a car with new tires and together we take great rides and talk about all the things we are seeing. When I told him we were going to put his crown away because it didn't fit, he turned it over, put it on, and said, "look, I a princess. It fits!"
He breaks into song often and his catalog of music is fun. From Black Eyed Peas, Mickey Mouse, Lady Gaga, and "Sunday School" songs.
I really hope all the rumors I hear about the "3s" being the worst do not turn out to be true for Tristan. I would miss his cute little personality way too much!

Love Thy Neighbor

Hopefully there will not be too many times in our life that we feel great sadness, but tonight is one of those nights in our house. This summer, we heard a sermon in church about getting to know your neighbors, serving them, and loving them. Being in community with your neighbors and really getting to know each other. We knew our neighbor's names on either side of us, and always said hi to the other people in our hall, but we didn't know any of them or anything that they might need.

Stephanie had lived right next door for a short amount of time and we were pretty sure she was sick just from her appearance. We were always polite to each other but never more than a friendly hello and a little chat with Tristan. After the sermon, we started to think of what we could do for her without intruding on her space if she wanted it. Neil takes our trash out everyday, so I suggested that maybe we ask if she needs help with that. She could stick her trash out on her porch and Neil would be sure to take it out that day. She agreed and we had no idea the relationship we had all just entered into.

Maya, Stephanie's cat, spent last week here with us while Stephanie took a much needed trip to Hawaii to decide her future. It turns out that after years of fighting her cancer, there is no fight left. What started as breast cancer, then moved to fill her stomach and lungs, and tonight she can feel the tumor in her throat. Over the last few months, she has graciously let us help her with small things, and on occasion Neil has had the wonderful opportunity to listen to her story and share with her what true community is when everyone else has left her.

Tonight as I sit here typing, she is just two rooms away snuggling with her children for probably the last night before they go back with their father in the morning. She said they were a "bit needy" tonight so they were going to push the beds together and sleep together for a while. Neil will go in the middle of the night to check on her because her medications are not in full force yet. Hospice comes tomorrow after the children have left, and they will make sure she is not in pain again. She wanted these last few days with her children to be ones that she could participate in. You would never know the incredible pain that she is in because she is literally the toughest person I have ever met. Because her insurance only covers care during the day and her greatest fear is understandably dying alone, Neil, myself, and her friend Christine will probably take turns throughout the nights sitting with her until the end. Every time we think about how hard this is, we quickly realize that how uncomfortable we may feel is irrelevant to the situation. It is not about us. If we don't sleep, who cares. I'm thankful that I am planning on putting my kids to bed for years to come, God willing. What ever she needs from us she will get.

We feel incredibly blessed that Stephanie has allowed us into her life at this time. We feel incredibly blessed that God has chosen us to love her in her time of need. Sometimes it's as easy as taking out someone's trash to start the wheels moving on something important. It's true that we just have to show up and God does the rest. I pray that we would have many great talks of God's love before Stephanie passes. I pray that she will pass on to a place with no cancer, no pain, and all the love that she needs.

Oh Ian, My Ian. Lalalalalalala

I think all moms have a special little song that they sing to that one baby to make them smile a smile that says they know it's all about them. The title to this post is that song for Ian.
When Ian was born he was so tiny that people were nervous to hold him. When we brought him home, his 3 1/2 pound body had a delicate look and his face and everything about him was so petite. He was a good little eater and continued to grow well, but there was something I was dying to see since that first week home. My desire was to see plump and chubby cheeks, thighs, and most of all hands. I love when you can not really see where the hand stops and the arm begins.

Well, the time has come for sure! He looks so healthy and even has some reserve which is something that makes me very happy.
Ian even had his first "first" today. Up until now, Ian has been doing things right on track for his age, but a week or so after Finn. Today was his big day. His first tooth broke the skin and is starting to work it's way out! He continues to grow and thrive in ways I had prayed he would when I was still pregnant. Go Ian, Go!!

Stuck Together

The last few days it has been between 50-60 degrees here before the next snow storm moves in. Usually we take full advantage of these little breaks and spend them at the zoo or on a playground, but not this weekend. Head colds have taken over half the family, so we are stuck inside for a little R&R.

Trying to keep things calm and quiet, we built a big Thomas set up in the living room... normally not permitted. Tristan thought it was a special treat and played so well for the

whole morning. The other little munchkins were just happy to be so close to Tristan. You would have thought he was one of the Beatles when he actually came and sat among them. At first there was surprise and delight, which quickly turned to "get a lock of his hair!"

Hopefully we are all on the mend just in time for the freeze tomorrow and big snow tomorrow night. Great.

(Ian in Red, Finn in Green)

The Boys at 7 Months

I love these seven month old babies!!

They are so much easier and more fun to take care of than six months ago. Both of them are all smiles and love to sit and play and amuse each other. Could I be reaping some of those benefits my grandmother told me about?

Both boys are sitting up really well and now enjoying dinner each night. They are sleeping better at night and giving me a bit more rest. Just when I thought I had missed something and could not remember what I did with Tristan to get him on a napping/feeding/sleeping at night schedule, the boys started to do it naturally. I thought "oh yeah, that's what we let Tristan do, too." I'm not all hippee "let my baby name itself when they are old enough to choose", but I do so much enjoy watching the natural workings of a baby's body and mind to grow and develop. The more I relax and take my cues from them, the easier it all flows. The boys are in their own beds now, so I have to walk sideways around my room, but it's worth it to give them their own space. Oh, I can feel a good nights sleep coming any day now!

Don't let these cute and civil pictures fool you though. When these two get too close, they pretty much attack each other. It's not a pretty sight, and it is a glimpse of years to come.

A bit about my boys:

Ian is the one that likes to be cuddles and held. Ian never lets us go too long with out reminding us that we need to slow down and snuggle a baby. His smiles are precious and make you feel so wonderful because he really makes you work for them. Waiting until he can do something really well before trying it is more his style. Finn tried sitting up first, but when Ian did it he just sat up straight and didn't wobble. Ian is also the one that starts trouble. He is the one at 6am blowing raspberries to wake Finn up and get him laughing and blowing raspberries back, and then Ian goes back to sleep leaving me to deal with Finn. He quietly steals the pile of toys the babies are playing with. I have no idea how, but he always seems gets them!

Finn is ready to rain smiles on anyone who will look in his direction. His favorite person is Tristan for sure. Just a glance from that big boy sends Finn on his way to the best day of his life. He is a little more laid back and content to play by himself. When he looks at toys you can hear the bubble above his head saying, "What does this do? How does this work? I want to taste that!"

When did I get voted "the mom"?

When I was growing up and something tough needed to get done, my mom just did it. We would always tell her, "that's why we voted you "the mom."
This morning I packed little Finn up and headed to the best children's hospital in Denver for a small surgery. I have never had any of my kids need care on this professional level. I had been nervous for this day since Dr. Steitz told me he would need this when he was only a few days old, and now the day had come.
Finn and I had a good two and a half hours in our pre-op room waiting for all the parties to arrive. He was happy and inquisitive about everything and everyone in the room. Once the nurses left and the small room had been explored, it was nap time with mom until the doctor came. Because he is not a year old, I was not allowed to go back with him to the OR but the surgical nurse was nice enough and he even carried Finn down instead of wheeling him to make him feel more comfortable.
Then the waiting began. I started my "time killing" plan by going down to get some breakfast and stopping by the gift shop to get Finn a Teddy bear for being so brave (or was it something for me to cuddle while I waited impatiently?).

Back up in the waiting area with my breakfast, iphone, and 45 minutes down I thought I was doing pretty good. Then I heard it. It made my heart stop for a moment. "Finn's mom? You have a call from the OR." I actually did not want to take the phone from her, as if that would make the news I heard any better? Turns out they just had a hard time putting an iv in and they were just now starting the procedure. Great. I had used up all my "time killing" field trips.

The waiting room in a pediatric surgical unit has got to be one of the worst places to be. I don't really want to ever go again. Every time the door opened, we all looked up in hopes that it would be our doctor's face. Everyone is on edge and we are all in the same boat. Luck for us, all the workers at the hospital get why we are there and are really nice about our nervousness. I did okay for an hour and a half and then it all hit me.
Why were they not out yet?
Why have I not heard?
The panic attack increased and it had grown so slowly that I hadn't realized what was going on. My chest was tightening and I was really having trouble breathing. It took about 15 minutes, a walk to get water and lifesavers, a trip to the bathroom to tell myself I was now voted in as "the mom" and I better pull it together. That was enough to at least keep me breathing and to stop me from bursting into tears as soon as I saw the doctor.
Finally, the doctor came out and reassured me that Finn was fine and we talked about the recovery. After what felt like forever, the receptionist looked at me and said, "would you like to go back and see Dylan now?" I wanted to say, "if it gets me closer to Finn then yes!"
More waiting.
Once it was my turn to go back, I could not move fast enough. I was literally dropping my stuff as I was collecting it. To be honest, I was ready to abandon all of it and just go. As I walked to the back I could hear crying, but quickly found out it was not Finn. He was still sleeping. He slept for a long time, waking only for the picture. His vitals were fine and they said they didn't need him to stay awake, they just needed him to eat. I made a bottle, popped it in, and they sent us on our way.

Now it's all about the spread sheet of the obnoxious number of meds/doses that he needs for the next 48 hours. That is a full time job by itself. I usually have both babies over night, but Neil was nice enough to take Ian for the next couple of nights while Finn needs me most. Here is to fast healing, low pain, and hopefully never sitting in that waiting room again.
I never knew how hard some of those "mom" moments were. Sorry, Mom.

Finn grew up over night!!!

I don't know how it happened, but Finn went to bed a true baby and woke up a whole new kid! He had rolled over before and dabbled a bit with sitting up, but today it's like everything just clicked. He sits on his own for many minutes without tipping back and plays with the toys in front of him with true purpose, not just sticking them in his mouth. How did this happen? I feel like it was a gradual change with Tristan. I'm just glad that Ian didn't choose the same night to start doing all these new things. I don't think I could have handled losing two "true babies" in one night!
Finn was sitting on Neil's lap in the kitchen while Tristan was playing with a "bat and ball." We suddenly noticed that he was laughing at something intentional, and that thing was Tristan! As soon as Tristan figured out that he had an audience the action really kicked up! Another first for Finn and all in this one long New Years Day!