Dear Kiddos

When Neil and I started having children, we were in agreement on not making Santa a part of our holiday traditions but it's only since making that decision that we became more solidified in our choice.  However, twenty years from now, I know we may face the questions from our grown children about why.  So while they are still little and some have not even come into our home yet, I will try to explain a bit to them. 

Dear kids,

I hope that the holiday memories from your childhood are as special for you as they were for your dad and I to watch the first time around.  Christmas is such an important time to remember and celebrate the birth of Jesus and the miracle of the story around it.  I know a lot of your friends had other traditions that we didn't participate in, but I hope you did not feel that our celebration lacked anything special.

There are a few reasons we opted out of Santa and other characters that came along over the years, but know that it was never to spoil your fun or take any magic out of Christmas.  Just the opposite is true.  We decided to remove characters and activities that promote values in contrast to how we were trying to raise you and that did not point to the real reason for Christmas...the birth of our Lord.  Your father and I believe there is room for only one awesome story this holiday and the make believe one can't even hold a candle to the real one. 

As I am writing this, Tristan is four-years-old and does not believe a word I say about Santa.  He is convinced he is real because he can see him, talk to him, and sit on his lap.  I can't imagine the confusion I would cause if I let him get a phone call or letter from this fictitious man, but as it stands he animatedly believes and there is nothing I can do about it.  My job as the mom is to tell my kids the truth, which I try to do always.  It seems you, Tristan, will find out the sad truth about Santa on your own just like so many other kids, but one thing you won't think is, "why did my parents lie to me."  There is something magical about believing in something you can't see or quite understand, but in my world that's called faith and it's WAY better than any reindeer, chimney jumping fat guys, or elves that sit judging you from a shelf.  I hope you all have a faith of your own as you have grown up and together we can live these miracles not only during the holidays but all year round. 

In an interesting conversation about Santa and Jesus with Tristan this season, I was able to make things a little more clear to a boy who just wants to join in the fun and who can hardly blame him if he thinks he is missing out on something.  That's my mom job to make you all understand you are not missing ANYTHING!  Santa watches to see if you are naughty or nice.  If you are good you get presents and if you are naughty you get coal.  It's a work based gift giving, and if any parents stayed true to this, all kids would get coal because none of them are nice all the time.  Problem: your friend's parents all gave gifts anyway and kids believe that they behaved "good" enough to deserve them.  Here's the fun part of our holiday; God sent Jesus for us while we were still sinners.  We didn't deserve the gift and yet it was given anyway.  You got gifts every year, gifts you loved, and nobody ever threatened you might not be good enough for them, that you should behave because "Santa is watching" or the elf sitting on the shelf will run and tattle on you tonight.  We hope our gifts were pure, showed we know you and love you, and were a message of grace... one of the greatest gifts of all.

If you look back wishing we had embraced a lot of these secular traditions, I'm sorry you feel that you missed out on something.  I know we have enjoyed the few holidays we have had so far in our role as parents and are looking forward to so many more.  This truly is the most wonderful time of the year!  Two days from now your dad and I will sit drinking coffee and smelling the Christmas casserole baking while you all open your presents and your eyes light up with joy.  We will sit and ponder about how God must feel to give us gifts and watch as we enjoy them.  How he must have felt as he gave each one of you to us in our family.  These feelings of joy are the miracle.  I'm glad you will enjoy your toys, but the joy of the morning belongs to your dad and I :)  That is the part of giving that is greater than receiving.  Thank you for being so joyful, sharing in all our holiday memories, and being open to hearing truth from us. 

We love you!
Mom (and Dad)

Some days

Lots of times I sit down to blog about events that I want to make sure to remember because they bring a smile to my face and I know I will remember those times fondly. Well, this blog is not one of those, but I still want to remember days like this too because this is my life most some days.

Today started with the alarm going off too early and my eyes not wanting to open. The four-year-old near by on the iPad (up since 6) gently told me to just go back to sleep for a while. You don't have to tell me twice...snooze! However, that snooze means no shower today *Sigh*. Ten minutes later I drag myself out of bed and promptly get clothes out for Tristan so he can dress while I make his breakfast. While making breakfast, I hear a sudden scream from the twins room. Rushing in I find that Finn has jumped on a peacefully sleeping Ian to wake him up...ugh.
Cranky kid count: 1

After Tristan leaves for school, the twins and I have a nice relaxing, cuddling morning playing together. I put all chores off until later while they are napping because I figure I have time before the babysitter comes this evening. Surprisingly, both kids let me change and dress them without a fight. "Success" I think to myself. Then this depresses me a bit that this is now the "success" I strive for in my day...ugh.  Everything goes smooth in the car to get Tristan, but the way home is filled with spitting, hitting, yelling, and 2/3 of the kids have naked feet now...ugh.

Arriving home I am hopeful.  It's nap time and that means I get to eat lunch in peace while I watch Judge Judy before I tackle the chores around the house that is just a mess by now. The twins are put down and Tristan has been set up in quiet play time...ahhh. Uh oh, what was that? Oh, that was Finn getting out of his crib 15 times and Ian playing trampoline jump. No nap time today...ugh.
Cranky kid count: 2

Thinking they just aren't tired after 2 hours of failed napping time, I let them out of their room to play. Play today means undecorating my Christmas tree, dismantling my couch, dumping all the toys, and playing with nothing...ugh.

Okay, new plan for the day because cleaning needs to still get done before date night tonight. Thankful now that I cleaned the bathroom yesterday. New plan is to set a record for how much tv my kids will watch in a day. This is working great, until I try to get off the couch to start my chores. If I move they follow me, try to push me back to the living room, whine for me to pick them up. I'm tired! I make a cup of coffee and plop on the couch with them.
Cranky kid count: 2
Kid who has been on the iPad for 2 hours now: 1
Frustrated mom: 1

Did I mention its only 2:30? I still have hours to go before date night/escape night (it's new official name). I'm just going to assume that things get better, the place will get clean (even if it means some crying on everyone's part), and eventually 6:00 will come and even if I'm embarrassed about how my place looks I still get to leave for a few hours.

Tomorrow morning's predictions:
Cranky kids: 0
Endless hours of iPad and tv: none
Family members happy to see each other: 5!!!