This is how we do it

We get the question a lot of times, "What do you do when both babies are fussy and you are alone?" Well, here are some examples. Even when Neil is home, there are some times like when Tristan needs his bedtime routine that we are left alone with both babies. We try to still give Tristan some good one on one time each day, so each of us is getting better at handling two babies... as long as they don't get too much bigger. The first picture is a little blurry because I really was here by myself and trying to take the picture. We sit like that a lot. These pictures make it look like all we do is sleep all day, haha!!

Just Like We Thought

While I was pregnant with these two, we often wondered if the space available to them in there would affect how they were comfortable on the outside. Now we know! Finn is comfortable sprawled out and hates to be swaddled which looks a lot like the ultrasound pictures we saw each week. True to form, Ian likes to be curled up in a ball or swaddled tight. I'm just glad he doesn't want to be folded in half with his feet in front of his face like he spent so many months. It's kind of cool to watch how those early environments did affect them.

Oh, there we are

Tonight was a night right out of a sitcom. Our friend, Eddie, was coming over to borrow some camping equipment and bringing a pizza for dinner. Sounds quiet and nice, right? Well, he had not been here five minutes when Tristan walked shyly up to me and grabbed my leg. I thought this was so strange and asked him what was wrong. He looked up at me, started puking, and didn't stop until I had him in the bathtub. The next ten five minutes are kind of a blur. I heard the babies start to scream because it was time for them to eat, but I was too busy slipping around on a puke covered bathroom floor making bubbles in the bath and trying to stay as calm as possible so that Tristan would not feel bad. Neil was preparing a bucket of mop water for me and throwing in the first load of laundry. Cooper was getting all the big chunks off the floor and for a moment I thought about keeping him. I forgot how handy a dog can be during these times. After it was over Neil and I looked at each other fondly and said, "see, we're still in there!" Taking care of a toddler and newborn twins can chip away at the communication in a marriage. We are both so tired at the beginning, middle, and end of each day that we tend to snip at each other more and say things in a way we never have. We try not to take it personally because we know it is a short time that we will be in this really hard situation, but in the back of your mind you hope that on the other side you have not picked up habits that cannot be reversed. It was really good to get a glimpse of our old self working well as a team to make a messy situation clean again.

We honestly thought that when we were done Eddie would have just left, but he fought his gag reflex and calmed a baby. He was impressed with our teamwork and the fact we didn't start yelling at each other like most of his other friends with kids would have. At the end of the day, we are still that couple that moved across the country, made our way through Neil's schooling, parented a happy little boy together, and brought two healthy babies into the world because of our teamwork and communication. We are still in there and hope to be back to our nice and respectful selves as soon as possible.

Instructions for Approaching a Mom of New Twins

****Before you start feeling bad for me or start looking up names of "happy drugs" for me to take, just know that I wrote this so I could laugh. Today in church the sermon was all about being able to laugh through difficult times. Taking this to heart, I wrote these down. Also, I wanted to remember these truths for when I am far removed from them and I will be the one who forgets what to say and what not to say to a new mom. Don't worry...I'm happy...I'm okay...I'm fine"****

Things that a new mom of twins will lie about:

"I'm doing great" (anything above "I'm fine" is a lie)

"It's not that bad" (It is that bad, but they are cute and totally worth it!)

Things you should never say to a mom of new twins:

"Oh, I always wanted twins" (we might be tempted to hand them over)

"How are you doing?" (without a box of tissues in hand as you wait for the answer)

"What a blessing" (we know it is, we just don't want to hear it yet)

"You've got your hands full!" (Really? REALLY?! You think I didn't notice that?)

"Are you getting any sleep?" (The answer will always be no, remind us that we are not sleeping, and bring tears. Just don't bring up the sleep thing)

"Just call me" (It's not going to happen and then we feel guilty about not calling)

And if you are out and about and don't know the person with twins, just sneak a peak as they walk by and smile. We don't want to be rude and ignore people, but if we stopped to tell everyone everything about the babies we would not get anything done. I'm thinking about making a flyer to pass out to people so I can keep walking. I know seeing two babies is cool, but it's just two babies not two unicorn babies which I have to admit I would have to stop and talk to that person, too. Two babies means I have more things to get and less time to get them, so please just let me keep walking.

Things you should say to a mom of new twins:

"Hang in there" (Encouraging and realistic)

"It's nice to see that you can still smile" (A nice reminder that we might actually be smiling)

"Can I hold a baby?" (ALWAYS! I actually let total strangers hold these babies, left them with all the nurses and receptionist when I went into the doctors, and even let Tristan's 13 year old sunday school teacher hold them)

"Here's some chocolate" (Thank you)

I Happy, Mommy

Last night Tristan and I were driving in the car and he kept telling me, "I happy, Mommy" over and over. I thought it was really cute, but I had never heard him say it before. Today we were watching Veggie Tales Madam Blueberry and at one point Jr talks about how happy he is and Tristan started saying he was happy again. I looked at Neil and said, "I was wondering WHERE he heard that!" As soon as the words came out of my mouth, Neil and I started laughing as he sarcastically said, "yeah, there's no way he hear that around here!" Hahaha... we are happy and we should say it more. Too bad he had to learn that phrase from a video.

Morgan Trinker Strikes Again!

The wonderful Morgan Trinker took a trip to Colorado the middle of July and generously gifted our family a photo shoot so we would always remember the beautiful parts of this time in our lives. As you can imagine from my last post, these pictures are how I will most want to remember all my boys right now and I would never have had the time or talent to capture them as they are. Although at times they all are hard work and require me to eat a lot of chocolate, most of the time they are sweet, adorable, loves of my life. Thank you Morgan for always making me remember all the blessings in my life!

Double the Flavor, Double the... what?

Don't get me wrong I still think having twins is cool, and a blessing, and special, and amazing, but the miracle of it all is lost at some points each day. One of these times being the middle of last night as I'm sitting on my bed with Finn on my lap indian style finally asleep but knowing full well that any small movement of him will awaken a screaming baby, and Ian in my arms rocking him to sleep and knowing that stopping this motion for even a second could result in another screaming baby. At one point I fell back on my pillow once Ian was okay with the stillness, but Finn had stolen all my clovers for his nice soft bed on my lap. So I lay there with one baby on my chest, one on my lap, and me cold as can be. I was actually happy when the next feeding time arrived so I could kick Neil and pass a baby over. The rest of the night wasn't too bad and no longer than any other night. By the morning these cute little guys were fine and we had a fine day.

The days are both faster than you can imagine and longer than you would wish them to be all at the same time. There are more dishes, laundry, cleaning, and picking up than I thought there would be because really who can plan for this. The work did not double... it quadrupled. The babies are more awake now and with that comes more crying. There are few other people who can understand what my days and nights are like, but I am lucky that there are a few women out here that have been or are managing life with twin babies and a toddler. We look at each other and sigh a sigh that only we can understand and both of us know we don't have the energy to go into the details so let's just not. There is a certain comfort in knowing your not crazy or weak, but that it's just a hard season in life.

I went for my six week check up today and had a good cry with my doctor. The good news is that good cry got me five extra weeks before I have to think about going back to work or if I will at all. My doctor had some brilliant ideas for making my life a little easier right now. She said I should sleep more at night, take a nap during the day, take a hot bath, try some relaxation techniques that I should go to the bookstore and look for a good book on, and possible I should hire a night nurse to take care of the babies at night. She is not getting paid enough because those ideas are just fantastic. Why hadn't I thought of those... oh, because they are completely UNREALISTIC!! After seeing my doctor, I went to see the lactation consultant upstairs. We had a good laugh about my doctor's suggestions and she loaded up a bag of goodies for me. As we were talking she told me there was another mom seeing her that had a toddler and twins my boy's age. This mom was not doing well and she wondered if I could have her call me to talk since I was doing so well. Wow! I told her that if this is "doing so well" then she can give me a call for sure. At least I won't tell her to take bath and get more sleep!!

Zoo with Neannie

The last day that Neannie was here, we went to the zoo with our friends Kendra and Blake. After all the words that Tristan was learning to read, we thought it would be a good idea to take the animal words with us so he could put it all together. He thought it was great that we were seeing his "words" in real life. Tristan and Blake especially liked the snakes and they really freaked Kendra and I out. I loved seeing a Mommy peahen with her twin babies. She was very protective of them as the crowds tried to get close. I could understand her actions completely seeing as my twins at some points were bigger attractions than the animals near by. What a great way to spend our last day together. It kept us from getting sad until later and gave us some good memories, too.