Examining The Junk Drawer And Other Messy Corners

Today's packing activity: Examining the junk drawer...and other messy corners.

I came face to face with my junk drawer today.  Now is the time, the time none of us want to face.  I have to ask the questions like "will I ever find the puzzle that this piece goes to? Will I ever really fix this broken thing? Why did I keep this?  What is this?  Should I wait until I figure our what this is to throw it away?"
I really like just closing this "someday I could be MacGyver" drawer and forgetting about it.  I hardly ever go back for this stuff, so why can't I just dump it in the trash?!!! WHY?!!!  The answer is hard to admit.  I value stuff.  I don't want to.  I want to value the time I spent with someone using that stuff, or the people that gave me that stuff, but I don't actually need that stuff to stick around forever to do that.  These are the things you think about when you pack up a home.  What's really important? 

Each day I am trying to pack a few boxes so the process doesn't become overwhelming.  Here's the problem though, it's making everyday emotionally overwhelming.  I'm not stressed about the actual work of moving, but each night I look at my new pile of progress and want to weep.  I'm not being figurative, 
I literally want to weep.  

We live in such a small place, so where did all this crap come from?  Well, the answer is simple, it came mostly from me and was all kept by me.  I look at EACH box that I pack up and know that most of the families in the village I visit in Ethiopia could fit all of their belongings in that ONE box.  

Here's the deal with visiting a third world country, it hits everyone in a different way.  I have friends that come home and freak out on their kids for not finishing their food, or who break down walking into a grocery store and seeing all the options.  That has never been me.  

These boxes staring me in the face are my hurdle.  

I need to deal with them in a few different ways.  

1) I need to remember that I don't live in a third world country and that isn't my reality.
2) I need to be able to let go of stuff and not let it control me.  Recognizing that managing stuff takes time and energy I could use elsewhere.
3) I need to remember what this feels like as I am tempted to start filling closets and drawers again

I read a beautiful blog this morning titled "When You Crave An Uncluttered Heart" and I think a lot of you would like it, too. I'm going to be chewing on these words from that blog for a while:

 "I look at these growing piles and stretched thin plastic bags and the desire for them to be gone is overwhelming. Just hauled out to the curb with no care for where they go but just gone. Gone away where they can no longer remind me that I haven’t always been a good steward of the blessings we’ve been given. Gone so I can start over with empty drawers and maybe this time only fill them half way."

Going through this stuff is hard, and knowing that at the end of this I will STILL have a moving truck full of things, well that's a bit much for me.  It's good to see the reality of our possessions or it would be tempting to let them keep ruling.  Easier to just close the closet, not go to the attic, or avoid the junk drawer than it is to deal with them.  
If I can't do that with my possessions then chances are I'm not willing to do that with my heart either, and that's a reality I won't live with.  

Finn's Foot

It was bound to happen.  I'm surprised it took seven year of motherhood.  I attribute the delay mostly to not having a backyard with trees to climb.  Finn broke his foot.  That's what happens when you don't stick the landing from the top bunk.  It wasn't a terrible break, but enough to take my toughest kid off his foot for a few weeks.  The other two would happily sit on the couch for three weeks with the iPad, but not Finn. He is always on the move and is still trying to help with projects and chores around the house.  He is still playing hard and trying to keep up with his brothers.  He even came in second in bowling.  As soon as he is able, he will start hobbling around on that cast and that will make things a lot easier for him.  We carry and help him as much as we can, but he doesn't want much help.  This one was born strong and independent :)
No surprise that he chose green...it's green EVERYTHING for him!

Elf Hunting at the Museum of N & S

It's tough to find activities to do with Finn in a foot cast, so we had to think outside the box today.  We headed to the Museum of Nature and Science to do something we have never done there.  That's a pretty bold statement considering we have been there about 282 times.  Today we went gnome hunting...but the museum is crazy and calls them "elves" on the internet if you search for them.  We found all 9 gnomes and 1 Yoda.  On the museum website, there is a helpful pdf that gives hints...and you will need them. They won't tell you about the yoda though...that you will have to find for yourself in the IMAX lobby :)

Have you ever been hunting for them at the museum?  Here's a picture of each gnome and yoda...you won't be able to see many of them because most of them are SMALL, but each one gives you a hit if you head out hunting.  There IS a gnome (elf) or a yoga in each one.  Most were painted in, two were ceramic, and one was even in an electronic moving picture that I KNOW you have stared at before and never saw.

Plan your next trip and go searching, it was REALLY fun and sometimes kind of hard.  Do not judge the amount of fun had by the smiles in these pictures.  My kiddo is a little self conscious about smiling for pictures these days...think Chandler in the engagement photos episode of Friends.

New Year, New Word, New Town

The new year is here.  2015.  Last year we spent a lot of time looking at our life, praying about where we were headed as a family, and making the big decision to move back to central NY.  Now it's 2015 and it feels like GO TIME.  The count down is on, the checklists are being made and the children are daily asking questions about what will come with us.  Toys, yes; toilet, no.

I know that packing up and driving across country will be a lot of work, but the actual decision to go was harder. We love Colorado and the friends we have made here.  When we looked at our life here, we could totally see ourselves being very happy for a long time in Colorado.  However, when we looked at some long standing essentials we wanted for our kids and for our marriage, we knew we had to at least go back home and give small town living a try again.

I feel SO incredibly blessed to have lived in two places that I love so much.  This is very much a decision between my favorite cake and a second helping of my favorite cake!  One place isn't better, the people aren't better in one town over the other, opportunities aren't superior here or there.
This is a decision made with the hopes that some things we have talked about for years can come to fruition in our new surroundings.  Yes, we are moving to my home town, but the town has changed since I have lived there.  Many people I knew have moved away...including my family.  The stores have changed, some of the people have changed, and I'm positive I can't even imagine the amount of change I will encounter.  In my heart I know that the general feel of the town won't have changed.

I'm sure I will blog a lot this year.  It's mostly going to be a jumble of emotions as I make my way through this journey.  Honestly, I am split right in half of wanting to be in NY today and also never wanting to leave Colorado.

Some people choose a word for the year.  My word this year is Breathe.  During the hard parts of packing, I need to just keep breathing.  Each time I enter my kid's school and fall more in love, I need to remember that their new school might be great...breathe.  When I have a great time with my friends out here and fear loneliness in the year to come; I need to breathe.  After we make our move and I'm standing in my home town once more;  I will need the strength to breathe and remember this was my choice and I'm excited about it.  Once I get settled into our new home...I hope to be able to breathe more easily on a regular basis.