Dear Kiddos

When Neil and I started having children, we were in agreement on not making Santa a part of our holiday traditions but it's only since making that decision that we became more solidified in our choice.  However, twenty years from now, I know we may face the questions from our grown children about why.  So while they are still little and some have not even come into our home yet, I will try to explain a bit to them. 

Dear kids,

I hope that the holiday memories from your childhood are as special for you as they were for your dad and I to watch the first time around.  Christmas is such an important time to remember and celebrate the birth of Jesus and the miracle of the story around it.  I know a lot of your friends had other traditions that we didn't participate in, but I hope you did not feel that our celebration lacked anything special.

There are a few reasons we opted out of Santa and other characters that came along over the years, but know that it was never to spoil your fun or take any magic out of Christmas.  Just the opposite is true.  We decided to remove characters and activities that promote values in contrast to how we were trying to raise you and that did not point to the real reason for Christmas...the birth of our Lord.  Your father and I believe there is room for only one awesome story this holiday and the make believe one can't even hold a candle to the real one. 

As I am writing this, Tristan is four-years-old and does not believe a word I say about Santa.  He is convinced he is real because he can see him, talk to him, and sit on his lap.  I can't imagine the confusion I would cause if I let him get a phone call or letter from this fictitious man, but as it stands he animatedly believes and there is nothing I can do about it.  My job as the mom is to tell my kids the truth, which I try to do always.  It seems you, Tristan, will find out the sad truth about Santa on your own just like so many other kids, but one thing you won't think is, "why did my parents lie to me."  There is something magical about believing in something you can't see or quite understand, but in my world that's called faith and it's WAY better than any reindeer, chimney jumping fat guys, or elves that sit judging you from a shelf.  I hope you all have a faith of your own as you have grown up and together we can live these miracles not only during the holidays but all year round. 

In an interesting conversation about Santa and Jesus with Tristan this season, I was able to make things a little more clear to a boy who just wants to join in the fun and who can hardly blame him if he thinks he is missing out on something.  That's my mom job to make you all understand you are not missing ANYTHING!  Santa watches to see if you are naughty or nice.  If you are good you get presents and if you are naughty you get coal.  It's a work based gift giving, and if any parents stayed true to this, all kids would get coal because none of them are nice all the time.  Problem: your friend's parents all gave gifts anyway and kids believe that they behaved "good" enough to deserve them.  Here's the fun part of our holiday; God sent Jesus for us while we were still sinners.  We didn't deserve the gift and yet it was given anyway.  You got gifts every year, gifts you loved, and nobody ever threatened you might not be good enough for them, that you should behave because "Santa is watching" or the elf sitting on the shelf will run and tattle on you tonight.  We hope our gifts were pure, showed we know you and love you, and were a message of grace... one of the greatest gifts of all.

If you look back wishing we had embraced a lot of these secular traditions, I'm sorry you feel that you missed out on something.  I know we have enjoyed the few holidays we have had so far in our role as parents and are looking forward to so many more.  This truly is the most wonderful time of the year!  Two days from now your dad and I will sit drinking coffee and smelling the Christmas casserole baking while you all open your presents and your eyes light up with joy.  We will sit and ponder about how God must feel to give us gifts and watch as we enjoy them.  How he must have felt as he gave each one of you to us in our family.  These feelings of joy are the miracle.  I'm glad you will enjoy your toys, but the joy of the morning belongs to your dad and I :)  That is the part of giving that is greater than receiving.  Thank you for being so joyful, sharing in all our holiday memories, and being open to hearing truth from us. 

We love you!
Mom (and Dad)

Some days

Lots of times I sit down to blog about events that I want to make sure to remember because they bring a smile to my face and I know I will remember those times fondly. Well, this blog is not one of those, but I still want to remember days like this too because this is my life most some days.

Today started with the alarm going off too early and my eyes not wanting to open. The four-year-old near by on the iPad (up since 6) gently told me to just go back to sleep for a while. You don't have to tell me twice...snooze! However, that snooze means no shower today *Sigh*. Ten minutes later I drag myself out of bed and promptly get clothes out for Tristan so he can dress while I make his breakfast. While making breakfast, I hear a sudden scream from the twins room. Rushing in I find that Finn has jumped on a peacefully sleeping Ian to wake him up...ugh.
Cranky kid count: 1

After Tristan leaves for school, the twins and I have a nice relaxing, cuddling morning playing together. I put all chores off until later while they are napping because I figure I have time before the babysitter comes this evening. Surprisingly, both kids let me change and dress them without a fight. "Success" I think to myself. Then this depresses me a bit that this is now the "success" I strive for in my day...ugh.  Everything goes smooth in the car to get Tristan, but the way home is filled with spitting, hitting, yelling, and 2/3 of the kids have naked feet now...ugh.

Arriving home I am hopeful.  It's nap time and that means I get to eat lunch in peace while I watch Judge Judy before I tackle the chores around the house that is just a mess by now. The twins are put down and Tristan has been set up in quiet play time...ahhh. Uh oh, what was that? Oh, that was Finn getting out of his crib 15 times and Ian playing trampoline jump. No nap time today...ugh.
Cranky kid count: 2

Thinking they just aren't tired after 2 hours of failed napping time, I let them out of their room to play. Play today means undecorating my Christmas tree, dismantling my couch, dumping all the toys, and playing with nothing...ugh.

Okay, new plan for the day because cleaning needs to still get done before date night tonight. Thankful now that I cleaned the bathroom yesterday. New plan is to set a record for how much tv my kids will watch in a day. This is working great, until I try to get off the couch to start my chores. If I move they follow me, try to push me back to the living room, whine for me to pick them up. I'm tired! I make a cup of coffee and plop on the couch with them.
Cranky kid count: 2
Kid who has been on the iPad for 2 hours now: 1
Frustrated mom: 1

Did I mention its only 2:30? I still have hours to go before date night/escape night (it's new official name). I'm just going to assume that things get better, the place will get clean (even if it means some crying on everyone's part), and eventually 6:00 will come and even if I'm embarrassed about how my place looks I still get to leave for a few hours.

Tomorrow morning's predictions:
Cranky kids: 0
Endless hours of iPad and tv: none
Family members happy to see each other: 5!!!

'Tis The Season

 

This year it seemed that the displays for Operation Christmas Child were everywhere (which is a great thing).  Since our budget is far from flexible and we had already committed our Christmas giving to other places, OCC was one we were just going to have to skip this year.  This was not okay with Tristan.  He announced that he had money in his dinosaur bank and he was going to make a box for a kid with no toys.  Okay then, how do I say no to that?  The afternoon that he announced this, he and Neil went out to spend some time together and I looked in his bank.  Oh no... there was not going to be enough and I wanted this statement of giving to be a success.  He is four and has no idea how much anything costs or how much money he actually had.  I wanted all the change he took into the bank to be enough for his shopping, sooooo I dumped the family change jar out on the carpet and kept the twins busy for the afternoon stuffing the dino.  

A few days later, we emptied the dino bank and headed to the big bank.  I wish I had remembered to snap a picture of him taking his change to exchange for paper money.  He told the teller he hoped there was $100 in there, but when she came back with $33 he was okay with that, too.

    We headed to Walmart and although I'm trying not to shop there, when it comes to budgets like this we compromised.  Our first stop was to pick up a plastic shoebox.  After spending some time in a third world country, I knew that making every part of this present usable is a valuable gift.  More than likely this box will have to hold and protect all the possessions of the child who receives it.  When I showed the box to Tristan he scoffed, walked further down the aisle saying, "That box is too little for everything.  Let's get this one..."  I love his heart!!!



I knew that T would be excited to pick out crayons and toys, but I had not expected that he would suggest snacks and was shocked when he INSISTED that this little boy needed underwear.  I probably would not have thought of that and it makes me think the little boy this box is destined for will be super excited that he got underwear.  It might be just what he was wanting.

I helped Tristan pack up his box and fill out a sheet of information about himself.  He got to color and we had another chance to talk about where this box might go and what little boy his age might get it.  He never tried to keep any of the special items he picked out and remained super excited to be able to do this for someone else.  Honestly, I didn't think a four-year-old was capable of understanding this, but I guess I underestimated the little guy.

We decorated even the inside of the box to really personalize it and make sure that little boy knows he is loved.  Want to hear my crazy prayer I said for this box?  I hope someday either Tristan, myself, or someone we know sees this box again.  Crazy I know, but it's not that big of a world ;) 

Then the frustration kicked in.  Tristan saw the filled and finished box sitting on the counter everyday and was mad that it was not on it's way to the little boy.  I told him we needed to wait to take it to church, but that week Neil was traveling and there was no way I was going to take all three boys to the drop off table.  After all of T's work, I wanted him to be able to take his time and ask questions if he wanted to instead of running by and throwing the box on the table.  We waited one more painstaking week, but he was still so excited to drop it off!  With the label we made online, we will be able to track our box to the country it lands in.  That will be another exciting day!!

I learn so much watching my kids.  Tristan's ideas about helping others and the way the little ones are quick to include new children to play.  I know we are to have faith like a child and some of these lessons fall right next to that.  If I let them run with their ideas, there is no telling what we as a family will learn about life and love!

Thanksgiving In Pictures

This year we decided to decline the invitation to Thanksgiving dinner.  After looking at our usual loud dinner table where the little ones pallets are picky and their average eating time in ten minutes(on a good day), we thought asking them to sit at a table with adults with unfamiliar food was a recipe for disaster.  Instead we planed a day to be thankful for family time together.

 

We started at a fancy breakfast at McDonald's where Tristan wanted to sit by himself.  This picture is so funny to me because he was having a great time sitting by himself and this makes it look like he was banished from our table.

 

Then we headed to the Museum of Nature and Science to spend the rest of the day.  Tristan had a chance to do an experiment.  These experiments take about 10 minutes to complete and I'm always amazed to see he has that focus in him.

There were a lot of exhibits where we could all play together without fighting!

And dad always has a way to make it even more fun :)

Tristan and Finn packed their bags, hiked the mountain, and stopped for a snack and to put on some sunscreen.

The boys loved the heart display.  Here is the picture where Tristan was asking the woman why she killed the sheep to get his heart.  Awkward...

All the boys crashed on the way home since we skipped naps.  Neil and I took the scenic route and had a chance to actually talk!!

At around 3pm, Neil and I decided we actually wanted a little bit of Thanksgiving dinner.  Tristan helped me whip up some baked corn, I made mashed potatoes and Stove Top, and we grilled up some ribs.  It was great!

At dinner, Finn reminded us that we made the right decision to not take them to a big Thanksgiving dinner...

And my day of Thanksgiving ended with a full heart listening to Neil read Indian In The Cupboard to Tristan.  This has been ANOTHER year filled with thanksgiving for our family! 

Halloween...Ba-Humbug

Growing up, my mom wanted nothing to do with Halloween and I couldn't wait to grow up and do Halloween really big. Turns out I inherited her distain for the holiday. It's so dark, scary, spooky (none of which I find fun) and all around the strangest thing.  We send our kids to knock on people's doors whom we hardly interact with the other 364 days of the year and ask for free candy. No real interaction, just dump some sugar in my bag.  People lose their minds and spend ridiculous amounts of money on costumes, decorations, and candy for what? It's a totally pointless holiday. See, I told you I got that Scrooge gene from my mom!

Years ago, Neil and I would go out to dinner and a movie on trick-or-treat night to avoid the whole thing. However, now I have children. Children that love to dress up.  I would bag the whole day still, but we don't do Santa, Easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc.  I feel like I should throw my kids a bone on Halloween.  Although the dark nature of the holiday greatly disturbs me, the idea that everyone is dressing up and playing pretent I guess I can get on board with.

One thing that we have enjoyed since Tristan started trick-or-treating, is going with our good friends and their kids. Since we don't share a common religion, there are not many holidays that overlap for us so this is a fun night we enjoy every year together. I'm looking forward to that this Wednesday. This year, another opportunity came our way and I jumped all over it. Finally a way I could hate this holiday a little less! There is a retirement community in the area that had trick-or-treating a couple nights before the big event. We were going to not be a total one way suck this year. I put together some thank you notes and the kids had fun decorating them.

The kids got in their cute costumes and headed in.  The first gathering room was filled with women sitting with bags of candy. The twins were still clueless to the fact they could have candy, but Tristan worked the room. After he was done collecting. He came to get a stack of cards. He then worked the packed room again but giving this time instead of taking. The room was full of kids so I couldn't see T, but I knew where he was by where the "awwwws" we're coming from.

This continued as we went door to door. It started some nice conversations and brought smiles to many! The kids were cute and polite and let's face it, when Ian waves, smiles, and says "bye" NOONE can resist smiling back.

This lady looked just like my grandma did.  It made me smile to she Tristan with her.

We left there with good candy and good feelings. After a great conversation on the way home I am feeling better about this mostly dreaded week.

Tristan:  I think my cards made people happy
Me: They sure did! You really made them smile.
Tristan: why?
Me: Because most people tonight came to take and you came to also give. That's always a good thing. I'm really proud of you
Tristan: Thanks, Mom

I won't promise that in the future I won't use my moms same tactics to keep us home (bribe us with a bag of our favorite candy to stay home and give out candy probably so our house wouldn't get egged), but for the next few years I will find little ways like this to make this holiday more palatable.

Big Green

 

Tonight we had to say good-bye to a very special member of our family.  Our big green chair-and-a-half.  I know it sounds strange that a chair could be so special to a family, but it has been with us literally since the first moment we became an us.  You see, it was in this chair that a certain nineteen-year-old boy asked a certain girl, "will you be my girlfriend?"  He actually asked me just like that, isn't that cute.  Even cuter, we took a picture that night :)

Yup, that's me with long hair and no bangs.  You can see why I made the change.

This chair started out it's life as my mom's furniture and I have fond memories of my mom sitting in this chair each night when I was a teenager.  The number one spot for a nap in my house was this chair.  The comfort was uncompairable to anything I have ever sat in and I have MANY friends that would testify to this.  It was big and roomy for one and comfy and cozy for two.  In years to come it would hold as many as it needed to at any given time. 
My mom passed on her furniture to Neil and I after we got married and I think she regreted giving up this gem the moment she did it.  It moved all around with us from our one room apartment in the back of the barn in New York, across country to Colorado, into student houseing at CU, and finally to our apartment we are in now.  When we first moved into the apartment we had exactly two peices of furniture, the big green chair and an office chair.  As we waited for our furniture that was on order for eight weeks, we took turns with the two chairs.  Whoever had the harder day at work got the big green chair.  Then we decided that since we didn't have ANY furniture this might be a good time to get a puppy and do some house training.  Enter Cooper.  Even he loved to cuddle in this fluffy chair.  I remember after we first got him and he got sick, I stayed up all night cuddled with him in the chair so I could hear him breathing.

A few years later, I would hold my new baby in this chair.  Countless nights spent holding and comforting this new baby.  Cooper was happy that Tristan didn't take up too much space, but the green chair always had room for one more.

It spent about four minutes of it's life as a "time-out" chair, but I quickly realized that was not the kind of chair this was.  Not this loving, hugging, all welcoming chair.

 

This oversized piece of heaven has been in just about every room of our lives.  In Tristan's room it was where we read bedtime stories and also where I spent the nights training Tristan to stay in his big boy bed.

When more babies came home, our chair seemed to expand it's love to fit them all.  I would not know where to begin to calculate how many bottles were fed to these boys in this chair.  I do know that the number would be obscene.

It's where Tristan taught Neannie how to play Angry Birds.

It's where my baby boys sat the morning we had them dedicated to God.

It's always where I cared for my children when they were sick. 

It was great at holding up forts

In this chair, even my three crazy boys could be calmed enough to sit near eachother. 

Even on this last night it was with us, she creaked under us all but held on tight to hold the love of our now big family.  Hard to believe we stated as just two kids who wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend and have filled this chair with such wonderful little boys.  It was indeed a sad night to say good-bye but it was time to end her suffering from the jumping and climbing.  Her stuffing was down to nothing and the children now banged thier heads on 2x4s instead of her original fluffy pillow sides.  We cut open the back panel to make sure there were no lost remotes inside only to find her poor broken back.  You were so good to us even through your aches and pains.  You will be missed Big Green Chair!

 

Day Out With Thomas...Ian Style

Today was a wonderful day with my Ian.  It's rare that Neil or I take the twins out by themselves other than to run errands, so today I took Ian to Day Out With Thomas at the Railroad museum.
He seemed a little confused when we left without the others and drove longer than usual.  He was so quiet in the back seat I thought he had fallen asleep.  All that changed as soon as we drove past the train museum to the parking area.  From that moment on, he barely stopped babbling the entire time.

Ian doesn't have a lot of words that I understand, but today he got to use a few that he does have.  I think he said "choo train" about a thousand times, there were Thomas "balloons" everywhere for him to point out, and there was even a "duck" in the petting zoo.

Seeing his excitement all day literally made me want to cry.  I have seen Tristan like this so many times.  We take him everywhere and he has done everything. The twins have been a lot of places, but mostly from the view of the stroller.  I guess that's the story for most kids other than the first born, at least for the first few years.  Now that the twin's personalities are really coming out, it's neat to know what activities they would really enjoy.  Finn and Ian are so different and it was nice to do something that Ian would love so much today.  Could all of the boys have come and had a good time?  Sure.  Would the others have loved it like Ian?  No way.  This way he got to soak it up just how he wanted to and just at his pace.

He played to nicely with the other kids in the train table tent, but you could tell me his the youngest child at home.  No other kids were hoarding trains under one arm while playing with the other.  He has learned to keep a stash handy because more than likely his first toy will be taken away.  That Ian... always prepared. 












I love learning more about my kids and what things interest them.  I can't wait to do more of these days with Ian, and of course with Finn as well ;)

Ian with his new train.  He didn't put it down for hours

While we were on the bus pulling out of the train museum, Ian said the longest phrase he has said to date, "Bye Choo.  Miss you."  This mama's heart was happy to hear a complete thought out of that sweet little mind!

Just Another Birthday

Another year, another birthday.  This past year has been so wonderful and with many great things to come this next year I was not dreading my birthday at all.  In fact, I have never given any weight to the number birthday even when it was a "big one" like 21 or 30.  In my mind, 33 would be no different. 

Neil took me out on Saturday night because that's when our babysitter was free and I didn't mind celebrating two days early.  The night started out with us test driving a mini van... something that was on my "I will never" list would not be a welcome change to our current ride.  After the drive, we headed to Hopa on Pearl Street Mall for some sushi.  While sitting at the sushi bar and chatting while waiting for our food, I said to Neil,
"If you had told me 10 years ago on my 23rd birthday that for my 33rd birthday I would be happily test driving a mini van and eating sushi..."
Neil: "Ha, you mean your 24th birthday"
Andy: "What do you mean?"
Neil: "10 years ago was your 24th birthday.  You are turning 34."
Andy: "Haha, very funny.  I'm turning 33."
Neil: "You were born in '78, right?"

At that moment I knew he was right.  I have never been so blind sighted in my life.  I had absolutely no idea that I was turning 34!!  I did what any reasonable adult would do in the moment;  I cried.  However, as I started to cry, and I mean real tears down my cheeks, I had an outer body experience and could see how funny this would be if I was watching this happen to someone else.  So now I am crying tears of shock and laughing at the same time.  Neil didn't know what to do.  He ordered me a birthday cocktail and things calmed down a bit.  We went ahead and had an amazing dinner with some of the best desserts I have EVER had!

It turned out that my babysitter was also free on my birthday, so Neil took me out for a nice dinner on Monday as well.  After two days to come to grips with my age, I was able to sit back, relax, and enjoy a glass of champagne that just happened to be the special of the night... did they know it was my birthday?!

It wasn't the actual number of my age that bothered me, it was that I felt I had lost a year, which in fact I had not.  Life is going just as it was supposed to and is sweeter than I ever imagined it could be, so does the magical number 34 actually bother me, no.  Was the surprise of a number bigger than I was expecting  a shock, yes.  Maybe this past year was just so sweet that I wanted to live it all over again, or maybe I just feel younger than my age.  Either way, bring on 34!  I can't wait to see all the fabulous blessings this year has to offer. 

Me being sad after finding out I was turning 34