Today's packing activity: Examining the junk drawer...and other messy corners.
I came face to face with my junk drawer today. Now is the time, the time none of us want to face. I have to ask the questions like "will I ever find the puzzle that this piece goes to? Will I ever really fix this broken thing? Why did I keep this? What is this? Should I wait until I figure our what this is to throw it away?"
I really like just closing this "someday I could be MacGyver" drawer and forgetting about it. I hardly ever go back for this stuff, so why can't I just dump it in the trash?!!! WHY?!!! The answer is hard to admit. I value stuff. I don't want to. I want to value the time I spent with someone using that stuff, or the people that gave me that stuff, but I don't actually need that stuff to stick around forever to do that. These are the things you think about when you pack up a home. What's really important?
Each day I am trying to pack a few boxes so the process doesn't become overwhelming. Here's the problem though, it's making everyday emotionally overwhelming. I'm not stressed about the actual work of moving, but each night I look at my new pile of progress and want to weep. I'm not being figurative,
I literally want to weep.
We live in such a small place, so where did all this crap come from? Well, the answer is simple, it came mostly from me and was all kept by me. I look at EACH box that I pack up and know that most of the families in the village I visit in Ethiopia could fit all of their belongings in that ONE box.
Here's the deal with visiting a third world country, it hits everyone in a different way. I have friends that come home and freak out on their kids for not finishing their food, or who break down walking into a grocery store and seeing all the options. That has never been me.
These boxes staring me in the face are my hurdle.
I need to deal with them in a few different ways.
1) I need to remember that I don't live in a third world country and that isn't my reality.
2) I need to be able to let go of stuff and not let it control me. Recognizing that managing stuff takes time and energy I could use elsewhere.
3) I need to remember what this feels like as I am tempted to start filling closets and drawers again
I read a beautiful blog this morning titled "When You Crave An Uncluttered Heart" and I think a lot of you would like it, too. I'm going to be chewing on these words from that blog for a while:
Going through this stuff is hard, and knowing that at the end of this I will STILL have a moving truck full of things, well that's a bit much for me. It's good to see the reality of our possessions or it would be tempting to let them keep ruling. Easier to just close the closet, not go to the attic, or avoid the junk drawer than it is to deal with them.
If I can't do that with my possessions then chances are I'm not willing to do that with my heart either, and that's a reality I won't live with.
I came face to face with my junk drawer today. Now is the time, the time none of us want to face. I have to ask the questions like "will I ever find the puzzle that this piece goes to? Will I ever really fix this broken thing? Why did I keep this? What is this? Should I wait until I figure our what this is to throw it away?"
I really like just closing this "someday I could be MacGyver" drawer and forgetting about it. I hardly ever go back for this stuff, so why can't I just dump it in the trash?!!! WHY?!!! The answer is hard to admit. I value stuff. I don't want to. I want to value the time I spent with someone using that stuff, or the people that gave me that stuff, but I don't actually need that stuff to stick around forever to do that. These are the things you think about when you pack up a home. What's really important?
Each day I am trying to pack a few boxes so the process doesn't become overwhelming. Here's the problem though, it's making everyday emotionally overwhelming. I'm not stressed about the actual work of moving, but each night I look at my new pile of progress and want to weep. I'm not being figurative,
I literally want to weep.
We live in such a small place, so where did all this crap come from? Well, the answer is simple, it came mostly from me and was all kept by me. I look at EACH box that I pack up and know that most of the families in the village I visit in Ethiopia could fit all of their belongings in that ONE box.
Here's the deal with visiting a third world country, it hits everyone in a different way. I have friends that come home and freak out on their kids for not finishing their food, or who break down walking into a grocery store and seeing all the options. That has never been me.
These boxes staring me in the face are my hurdle.
I need to deal with them in a few different ways.
1) I need to remember that I don't live in a third world country and that isn't my reality.
2) I need to be able to let go of stuff and not let it control me. Recognizing that managing stuff takes time and energy I could use elsewhere.
3) I need to remember what this feels like as I am tempted to start filling closets and drawers again
I read a beautiful blog this morning titled "When You Crave An Uncluttered Heart" and I think a lot of you would like it, too. I'm going to be chewing on these words from that blog for a while:
"I look at these growing piles and stretched thin plastic bags and the desire for them to be gone is overwhelming. Just hauled out to the curb with no care for where they go but just gone. Gone away where they can no longer remind me that I haven’t always been a good steward of the blessings we’ve been given. Gone so I can start over with empty drawers and maybe this time only fill them half way."
Going through this stuff is hard, and knowing that at the end of this I will STILL have a moving truck full of things, well that's a bit much for me. It's good to see the reality of our possessions or it would be tempting to let them keep ruling. Easier to just close the closet, not go to the attic, or avoid the junk drawer than it is to deal with them.
If I can't do that with my possessions then chances are I'm not willing to do that with my heart either, and that's a reality I won't live with.
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