Love Thy Neighbor

Hopefully there will not be too many times in our life that we feel great sadness, but tonight is one of those nights in our house. This summer, we heard a sermon in church about getting to know your neighbors, serving them, and loving them. Being in community with your neighbors and really getting to know each other. We knew our neighbor's names on either side of us, and always said hi to the other people in our hall, but we didn't know any of them or anything that they might need.

Stephanie had lived right next door for a short amount of time and we were pretty sure she was sick just from her appearance. We were always polite to each other but never more than a friendly hello and a little chat with Tristan. After the sermon, we started to think of what we could do for her without intruding on her space if she wanted it. Neil takes our trash out everyday, so I suggested that maybe we ask if she needs help with that. She could stick her trash out on her porch and Neil would be sure to take it out that day. She agreed and we had no idea the relationship we had all just entered into.

Maya, Stephanie's cat, spent last week here with us while Stephanie took a much needed trip to Hawaii to decide her future. It turns out that after years of fighting her cancer, there is no fight left. What started as breast cancer, then moved to fill her stomach and lungs, and tonight she can feel the tumor in her throat. Over the last few months, she has graciously let us help her with small things, and on occasion Neil has had the wonderful opportunity to listen to her story and share with her what true community is when everyone else has left her.

Tonight as I sit here typing, she is just two rooms away snuggling with her children for probably the last night before they go back with their father in the morning. She said they were a "bit needy" tonight so they were going to push the beds together and sleep together for a while. Neil will go in the middle of the night to check on her because her medications are not in full force yet. Hospice comes tomorrow after the children have left, and they will make sure she is not in pain again. She wanted these last few days with her children to be ones that she could participate in. You would never know the incredible pain that she is in because she is literally the toughest person I have ever met. Because her insurance only covers care during the day and her greatest fear is understandably dying alone, Neil, myself, and her friend Christine will probably take turns throughout the nights sitting with her until the end. Every time we think about how hard this is, we quickly realize that how uncomfortable we may feel is irrelevant to the situation. It is not about us. If we don't sleep, who cares. I'm thankful that I am planning on putting my kids to bed for years to come, God willing. What ever she needs from us she will get.

We feel incredibly blessed that Stephanie has allowed us into her life at this time. We feel incredibly blessed that God has chosen us to love her in her time of need. Sometimes it's as easy as taking out someone's trash to start the wheels moving on something important. It's true that we just have to show up and God does the rest. I pray that we would have many great talks of God's love before Stephanie passes. I pray that she will pass on to a place with no cancer, no pain, and all the love that she needs.