How to Groom Your Child to Success

Doesn't that seem like one of the stupid titles you would read on a parenting book? I want to know if any of those authors actually followed just what they wrote about and how many of their kids are currently in counseling? I know I don't have much to offer to the world about parenting except for a handy tip here and there for my girlfriends that may or may not work for their kids. If I had ever thought about writing a book, here are all the reasons I'm not going to start writing my parenting book today.

My toddler went down for his nap about an hour ago and is still not asleep. he could be in there playing and I don't really care because he is still giving me a quiet break.

I don't change my shirt the first time a kid spits up on me because it won't be thirty minutes before another one does the same. The second time... I change.

I bribe my kid with treats so he will finish his food.

I go to my babies when they cry... I just can't imagine not going

I don't bleach their toys and run the stuffed animals through the dryer once a week (or month).

The only meat my toddler will eat is a fast food hamburger, so guess what? He gets that a couple times a week.

I let him "work it out" with his little friends and don't fight his fights for him (not that I let him hit or anything) However, I do arm him with phrases like "No hit me!" when I know there will be a "hitter" at a play date instead of keeping him away from kids that don't always act nice. He better learn how to deal with all kinds of different people

When I go through the drive through at Starbucks I keep a snack in my purse so that when he asks for a treat from "mommy's coffee" I pull it out of my bag as she is handing me my drink. He actually thinks they serve goldfish at Starbucks.

I didn't sugar coat what happened to the mouse in our kitchen. He didn't go to the farm, he got stomped on and thrown away. Tristan loved reenacting this for everyone for about a week.


And somehow after all of this, I have two healthy happy babies and one healthy, happy, polite, friendly, outgoing, confident, and loving toddler. Maybe there is no secret formula or maybe I have already found the right one that fits for just my three little ones.